Hi there,
The other day, I found myself worrying about something that, looking back, was totally silly. I was driving to pick up a package from a collection point, I saw a car on the side of road with a guy looking under the hood, and I started imagining what I’d do if the car broke down. I thought how I know nothing about cars and would have to call roadside assistance, deal with the repair shop, and what it might cost. By the time I picked up my package, my chest felt tight, and my mood was sour. But here’s the thing – nothing happened to my car, it worked just fine. I wasted a good chunk of energy worrying about something that never even came close to happening.
I know this all sounds dumb and such thoughts are normal, but I started to think about how much of a toll all these worries might actually be having on me.
Have you ever done that? Spent time playing out worst-case scenarios that didn’t actually come true? It’s funny how our brains can turn something small into a huge what-if in no time at all. And sometimes it can be really exhausting. I read someone comparing it to running a marathon in your mind and getting nowhere. Which is quite accurate, if you ask me.
So, I started paying attention to how often I do this, and wow, it’s a lot. Sometimes I worry about work stuff, like messing up a presentation or calling someone by the wrong name in an email. Other times, it’s about being a parent – what if my kid doesn’t sleep well tonight (meaning my wife and I won’t sleep well too)? What if he doesn’t eat enough veggies? The list never ends. However, most of the things we worry about never happen. I’m not saying nothing bad ever happens, but way less than we worry about.
I’d like to say I came up with this, but I found it online.
Worrying is like paying interest on a debt you don’t owe.
That stuck with me. Why spend so much mental energy on something that isn’t real? I mean, I could be spending that time doing something I love, like watching One Piece or playing with my son. Okay, maybe I should worry less about how many episodes I have left of One Piece (954, and they keep coming out!) but that’s a different kind of worry.
It’s easy to feel like worrying is productive. We think if we run through every possible bad outcome, we’ll be ready for anything. But the truth is, it doesn’t work that way. Worrying doesn’t stop bad things from happening. It just makes us feel miserable in the present. I’m not saying we should pretend nothing bad can happen but understanding the potential negative outcomes and stressing over what we’d do if they come to pass are two completely different things.
Recently, I’ve been trying to intentionally remind myself of that when my brain starts spinning out of control. I ask myself whether what I’m stressing over is a real problem right now. If the answer is no, I try to let it go. That doesn’t mean I succeed every time – letting go is hard as it is and is particularly hard for an overthinker like me. But even stopping for a second to check in with myself makes a difference.
Another thing I’m learning is to trust myself more. I’ve handled tough stuff before, and I like to think I’ll handle it again if I must. Trusting that I’ll figure it out when the time comes helps me stop worrying so much in advance. Again, I’m not talking about ignoring your problems, you still need to be aware of them, but tackle only what’s already in front of you, so to speak.
And you know what helps most of all? Doing something simple and grounding. Watching a video, taking a walk, playing with my son, or even just sitting with a cup of coffee. These small moments pull me back to the present and remind me what’s real right now.
As I am getting ready to wrap this up, I notice it all sounds so cliché and as if taken out of a teen tabloid. However, I’m still going to share it because I suspect I’m not the only one who struggles with worrying too much. It’s part of being human, right? But maybe we can remind each other to focus more on what’s actually happening and less on what might happen.
If you’ve been caught up in worry lately, I hope this gives you a little nudge to let some of it go. As much as I loved the Marvel animated series, life is happening right here and now – not in all the what-ifs our minds like to create.
Thanks for reading. Hit reply and let me know if you’ve also struggled with worrying too much about hypotheticals that never happened.
Oh, and speaking of letting go of unnecessary stress – if you’re spending too much time on repetitive Excel tasks, why not make your life easier? My Excel add-in, Minty Tools for Excel, is designed to take care of a lot of the boring stuff, so you can focus on what actually matters. Check it out – I’d love to hear what you think!
Till next week,
Dobri 🍃